Hearts and Spades
by shizuke
Summary: Which would you choose? Love or death? RaitoL, slight AU.


Disclaimer: Am not making profit from this story. Do not own Death Note.

Warning: AUness, hints of shonen-ai, slight OOCness, major card suit references

A/N: I meant for this to be a sequel for Pages of My Insanity but somehow it turned out like this. In a way, it _is_ a sequel and it's not. Hehe. I'm not sure how to explain that. Hope you enjoy this story.

* * *

**Black Jack**

**Diamonds** are **wealth**.

**Clubs** mean **happiness**.

**Hearts** signify **love**.

**Spades** bring **death**.

* * *

**Ace of Hearts**

When he had been younger, his mother had explained to him that he would someday marry a girl who will steal his heart and have babies of his own. Raito didn't really like the idea of babies; crying, whining, irritating little creatures. And Raito didn't really like the idea of letting someone steal his heart either. He didn't like having anything stolen from him, much less his heart.

So he vowed to protect his heart and not give it to anyone. And you know Raito; once he set his mind on something, he'd never give up on it.

But one day, Raito came home to find that his heart was gone. Someone had broken into his room and had stolen his heart. Raito panicked. This was horrible. Who could've been skilled enough to break the locks on his door?

Then someone knocked on his door. Irritated, Raito opened the door and found Ryuuzaki standing there. And in his hand, he held a card: an ace of hearts. "Looking for this?"

Raito stared at the ace of hearts in Ryuuzaki's hand, speechless. Then Ryuuzaki took out another card from his pocket: an ace of spades. "I accidentally took these two cards from your drawer," he said. "I know I'm only supposed to take one. So which one should I give back?"

* * *

**Roulette**

"Ryuuzaki," started Raito. "How did you find those cards?"

Ryuuzaki scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Actually, I came here looking for two cards of my own," he admitted. "The door was unlocked so I let myself in. I was searching through your drawers when I found your ace of hearts and ace of spades."

"Which cards did you lose?" asked Raito.

"Ace of clubs and ace of hearts."

Raito took out the cards that he had found not so long ago and had kept in the back pocket of his jeans. "Are these the ones you're talking about?"

"Yeah," replied Ryuuzaki. "Why do you have them, Raito-kun?"

"Do…do you want them back?" asked Raito.

Ryuuzaki shook his head. "It's okay. Keep them. Now about your cards, which one do you want?"

* * *

**Decision**

_R-RING!!!_

Raito woke up with a start to the ringing of his alarm. He looked around. No Ryuuzaki in his room. No cards in his back pocket. Raito buried his face in his hands.

All a dream…

* * *

**The Destruction of Clubs**

(takes place after the capture and defeat of Higuchi)

It was saddening looking at him stand out there in the rain. Raito pushed open the door and grabbed Ryuuzaki's arm. "What are you doing?" he asked. "You'll catch a cold like this."

Ryuuzaki smiled sadly at him. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Raito thought back on his dream: the choice of two cards Ryuuzaki had given him and the card he had chosen. But that had only been a dream, right? Just a dream.

Despite Ryuuzaki's protests, Raito dragged him out from under the rain. He grabbed towels for both of them to dry off with and kept a close eye on Ryuuzaki so that he won't wander off into the rain again. Ryuuzaki took a long time towelling himself.

"I'm feeling sad, Raito-kun," he said. "I don't know why…but I feel sad."

"You should be happy," replied Raito, purposely avoiding eye contact. "You managed to catch Kira."

"Higuchi is not the real Kira," said Ryuuzaki. "You know that.

"Yes…of course." Raito started to walk towards the investigation room. "Come on, everyone is waiting for your orders."

Ryuuzaki nodded and followed Raito into the room.

* * *

**Ace of Spades**

"I'm going to test the Death Note," declared Ryuuzaki. "I'm going to ask for permission to let a criminal try the Death Note and see if this is Kira's true weapon."

Immediately, yells of protest emerged from the rest of the investigation team. Raito looked on solemnly as Aizawa, Matsuda and his father argue with Ryuuzaki about human rights and morals. He looked at his watch.

It's about time.

"Everyone, stop!" he yelled.

Ryuuzaki quieted down and looked at him curiously. Aizawa, Matsuda and his father stared at him, all waiting for an explanation.

Raito smiled mirthlessly at everyone.

He took a deep breath. Moment of truth. "There's no need to test the Death Note. I can testify that it works and that it is Kira's sole weapon."

"Rai-raito," stuttered his father. "How would you know all this?"

Raito smiled sadly and sighed. Ryuuzaki widened his eyes. He had rarely, if ever, seen Raito looking so sad before. "Raito-kun," he said. "Are you okay? You're not acting yourself."

Raito swallowed. _I guess this is the end of the line. _

He raised his head high and looked at Ryuuzaki squarely in the eye. "I've played this charade long enough," he said loud and clear so that everyone in the room, including his father, could hear what he was about to say.

"I admit to my crimes," said Raito straightforwardly. "I admit it. I…am…**Kira**"

The effect was instantaneous. Aizawa, Matsuda and his father reacted exactly how he had expected them to react: with shock and disbelief. Raito turned. Ryuuzaki looked surprised too. Of course he hadn't been expecting Raito to simply admit it. The Raito he knew would never admit to being Kira. What was going on?

_BA-DUMP!_

Raito's eyes bugged and he clutched his chest. He fell to the floor, both hands grabbing his chest in pain. Everyone rushed to his side, demanding what was wrong. Raito let out a scream of pain.

_BA-DUMP!_

So this was what all his victims had suffered before death – this beat of pain; the footsteps of death.

"He's having a heart attack!" his father yelled. "Call an ambulance! Quick!"

Aizawa jumped to action, quickly dialling for an ambulance on his mobile.

"It's Kira!" cried Matsuda. "Kira's killing Raito-kun!"

_BA-DUMP!_

Another scream of agony. Raito felt himself being scooped into arms. He looked up and saw Ryuuzaki. His wide eyes were staring earnestly at him and in them, Raito saw confusion and disbelief.

"In this situation, there are two possibilities," Ryuuzaki said, his tone belying nothing. "One, you are not Kira. Two, you are Kira and the second Kira is killing you."

Raito tried his best to snort. "You know the first one's not true."

_BA-DUMP!_

Raito felt the arms around him tighten, as though Ryuuzaki was trying very hard to hold back his emotions. "So that means the second Kira is killing you," he said monotonously. "Although you are Kira, I shall get revenge for you. I shall capture the second Kira. I pro…"

Raito silenced Ryuuzaki with a finger to his lips. "No…it's not the second Kira."

"But this…" protested Ryuuzaki.

_BA-DUMP!_

Raito twitched in pain in Ryuuzaki's arms. He clutched the front of Ryuuzaki's shirt with both hands. His entire body was shaking from the pain.

"N-no," Raito said, struggling to speak. "T-this…this is all according to plan."

_**BA-DUMP!**_

_It's time._

Ryuuzaki's eyes widened with disbelief as Raito's hands fell from his shirt.

In the end, Raito had chosen the ace of spades. His ace of hearts would remain with Ryuuzaki forever.

Raito gave Ryuuzaki one last weak smile of regret.

"...goodbye..."

Then Raito closed his eyes and went to sleep forever.

…

Ryuuzaki…screamed

…and screamed…

…and cried.

* * *

**The Day Before**

Rem noted that something was wrong with Yagami Raito today. He appeared…troubled. Then, she noticed him sneak into the room where the Death Note was being kept and followed him out of curiosity.

"Aren't you worried that they will catch you with the Death Note?" she asked. "They'll accuse you of being Kira again."

Raito smirked. "It's nice to know that you care about me as well."

Rem snorted. "I don't care about you. I care about Misa. Every wrong action you take will affect her."

Raito sighed. "I understand. Don't worry." He opened the Death Note, scribbled something inside and returned it to its original place. "Good night, Rem." He left the room nonchalantly, leaving Rem even more suspicious of his actions.

The cautious Shinigami picked up the Death Note and opened it to see what he had written. She dropped the book in pure surprise. There in the middle of a brand new page, in Raito's neat handwriting, was his most recent and last entry in the Death Note:

_Yagami Raito_

_Dies of slow heart attack at —p.m. Japan time, after admitting that he is Kira.

* * *

_

**Epilogue**

Users of the Death Note will go to neither heaven nor hell.

Ryuuzaki stretched his arms and yawned. Another case in the wraps. Time for a snack. His eyes wandered to the clock on the wall of his hotel room. Three seconds to midnight. Three seconds to the day Yagami Raito died three years ago.

No…no more crying. Ryuuzaki got out of his seat to grab some chocolate cake from his mini-fridge when he noticed something on the floor beside his work table that hadn't been there before. His eyes widened when he realized what it was: a Death Note.

What was it still doing here? Hadn't it been disposed of three years ago after Raito's death? Or maybe…this wasn't the same Death Note.

Ryuuzaki picked it up cautiously and flipped through it. There were no rules written in this Death Note. It wasn't the same Death Note. Or maybe this wasn't a real Death Note. Perhaps someone had made this and left it in his room as a cruel joke.

"Hello, Ryuuzaki."

Ryuuzaki dropped the book in surprise. He turned to see who had addressed him and fell to the floor in shock. "Shi-shinigami?"

"My name is Shinigami Raito," said Ryuuzaki's visitor, "and that is my Death Note."

* * *

_A/N: Pretty weird ending, huh? Sequel? No? Btw, those of you who weren't aware, this is a semi-sequel of **Pages of Insanity**._


End file.
